I got knocked down – but I got up again.

Dear MASSIVE spider.  

Spider sitting as I open the door

Spider you stay there on the floor

You don’t know me.

I will get you.

Spider, don’t dodge my spray can.

Spider you better watch out man!

You shouldn’t run at me!!!

I will squash you.

Spider you are the pits.

Spider you make me loose my wits.

You are faster than me.

I will still chase you.

Spider, you knocked me down…

Spider, but I got up again – you’re never gonna bring me down.

You thought you could get me.

I got you.

And there you have it.
I’m sure there are many more things worth writing about.
But tonight I had an encounter with a tarantula sized spider. (I know how big they are…as you can see, I ate one)

Imagine this –

It was 6.20pm and I had sped as fast as I could handle down the rouge streets of Battambang to get home before dark … As I unlocked the door I strided through the house to turn on the flood lights so I could padlock the gate.

On my way back inside, sitting there, right infront of me, right in the middle of the doorway was a massive big huge ugly spider.
What to do, what to do.
I nonchalantly eyed it up and casually walked past it again to get the bug spray.
I retrieved the spray and launched it into his face.
But aye, he was a runner and he gunned it straight for me.

Disclaimer – I’m not scared of spiders, unless all 8 of their furry black legs are coming for me.

Which they were.
I proceeded to squeal, dance and hop about trying to squash the beast…. obviously unaware that bug spray makes floors slippery. And of course, true to form –
I face planted (not ideal whilst a livid beast is running to you).
The rest was a blur. Imagine high chase Chip & Dale vs Donald Duck kinda thing for a few mins.

But I got the crawler. I got him.
He is now sitting underneath the bug spray, getting on those fumes. Dead.

Here is a haiku.


Right in-front of the door

I spray, you run, I face plant

And now it is finished.

Cover photo credit – James Broadbent Photography